Your intersex child …

… we would firstly like to congratulate you on the arrival of your wonderful child!

Every birth is exciting for parents, but the arrival of the first-born child can be especially nerve-wracking and demanding for new parents. Finding out that it is not possible to clearly assign the baby’s gender can often surprise and shock parents. Not everyone knows that there is actually a possibility that their baby could be intersex. Not everyone is prepared for this.

It is perfectly normal to feel unsettled by this news. Life with an intersex child is a new concept and there are certain questions which could become important in the lives of the child and the parents. You are not alone.

Parents may have lots of questions concerning what is actually meant by “variations of sex characteristics”. You will probably be given a diagnosis by a medical professional and are now probably wondering what life as an intersex person could look like. We have therefore put together a number of videos and interviews with intersex people and their parents. If you prefer to communicate with someone in person, you can find a list here of different advisory services.

To help get you started, we can recommend this video on the Regenbogenportal (an online information service by the Federal Ministry of Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth.

We firmly believe that the most helpful approach for all concerned is to talk openly with your child. It is fine if you decide you want to allow your child to grow up as a girl or a boy. Keep an open mind about the fact that your child may feel a greater affinity to a different gender as they grow up. Children express from a young age what they do and don’t like. Listen carefully to them.

Children’s books are a great way to provide information about the subject of intersex and to let children know that there are other children like them. Follow the link here to view a selection of books which incorporate intersex themes. There is an even longer list of books covering the subject of gender diversity, individuality in children in general and sexual diversity. It can also be useful to look at accounts of the lives of adult role models.

The aim of our website is to give you plenty of support by providing information on the subject of intersex. Being properly informed will ease your worries and is also the first important step that will enable you to do the best for your child. For example, did you know that there are nearly as many twins as there are inter* children in Germany?[1] And there are roughly the same number of red-haired people in Germany as there are intersex people?[2] Please feel free to take a look at the information on this website in a way that suits you. Simply select the texts that you want to read (first of all).

[1] In 2017, 1.8% of all births in Germany were twins or multiple births (German Federal Statistical Office).

[2] Approximately 1-2% of people have natural red hair.